This post may contain affiliate links. I will make a small commission if you make a purchase through one of these links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.
Do you recall the first patient that you cared for who died? Well, I do. First off, I remember feeling anxious, sad, and overwhelmed. Perhaps you can relate. If so, let me remind you that good mental health is essential for resiliency. So, I am sharing self-care tips and 10 ways to cope when your patient dies.
To begin with, I was a new grad (1st week on my own) when my first patient died. And, I had no idea what to do.
Somehow, I managed to make it through with the support of my CNA and my charge nurse but it was rough!
Over time, I came to realize that not only did I need to know how to care for my patients, but that I also needed to learn how to care for myself. And so do you!
According to one study, 30% of nurses had some symptoms of depression.
Burnout and Compassion Fatigue
For starters, hospice nurses are at high risk for burnout. One common reason for this is compassion fatigue. In basic terms, compassion fatigue (CF) is usually the result of caring for patients with high levels of physical distress and emotional pain.
Additionally, compassion fatigue can affect both physical and emotional aspects of daily life.
Some other areas in healthcare with high levels of burnout and compassion fatigue are the emergency department, intensive care unit, and oncology.
According to one study, around 30% of nurses had some symptoms of depression. And hospice nurses are no exception to the rule.
Honestly, home hospice nursing is more like being a lone wolf.
For instance, hospice nurses may spend thirty minutes to an hour driving between patients.
Additionally, they may suffer from compassion fatigue which is experienced as they are constantly exposed to the suffering and sadness of those in their care.
So what’s a nurse to do?
What is Self-Care?
So, what exactly is self-care? Self-care is anything that you ENJOY that helps support your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
Notice the emphasis on the word enjoy.
My point is that self-care is about you! And not something that someone else tells you it is.
I have lots of ways to cope when your patient dies, but they only work if you enjoy them.
Now, let me state the obvious. First and foremost, before any of this can help, you must identify that you are stressed and take time for yourself.
If you experience headaches, depression, lack of empathy, and a lack of desire to go to work, then you may be experiencing compassion fatigue (CF).
Remember, if you find yourself feeling a little burned out, you are not alone.
Self- Care10 Ways to Cope
1. Acknowledge your feelings
Many years ago, one of my favorite patients died. Admittedly, I cried and was just plain heartbroken.
(I know we aren’t supposed to have favorites but he was a sweetheart!)
My point is that there will come a time when you wonder how much you can take.
Allow yourself time to grieve the loss that you’ve experienced.
One thing that I know is that pushing feelings down doesn’t mean that they are gone. Sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor order.
Be kind to yourself!
(Also, it is ok to cry!)
2. Take time to reflect
To put it another way, take time for yourself. Reflection is a good way to check your emotions.
Just ask any nurse and they will tell you that being a nurse takes a toll on your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
If your emotions are running high after after your patient dies, step away into a quiet space and take a couple of deep breaths. Think about the good things you have in your life. Also, remember how that particular patient and their family touched you.
Most importantly, reflect on how you helped them transition. (I’m sure your patient’s family is grateful for all you did to support them.)
A study released by Staffordshire University revealed that 66% to 82% of workers don’t always take their breaks.
3. Take a break
So you might be thinking that you don’t have time to take a break. Sadly, this is one of the greatest mistruths in nursing. Granted you might be busy, you can still take a short break.
Simply stepping away can help you feel refreshed.
I always wondered why the smokers on my unit seemed so calm until one day it hit me. They take breaks several times each shift, they walk out of the building, and they socialize with others. Meanwhile, the non-smokers covered their patients and played the martyr when it came time for breaks.
(I am not promoting or dogging smokers, just an observation.)
4. Prioritize your basic needs
This may sound like a no- brainer but nurses are known for taking better care of others than they do of themselves.
Drink plenty of Water- I understand that coffee is a clear liquid, but it does not take the place of good old fashioned H20. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
Eat something- Your body needs fuel. Pack snacks and other essentials. Though you might try, you can’t thrive on junk food alone.
I get that sometimes all you need a bag of M&M’s to make it through a 12-hr shift, but that will not nourish your body the way that it should. Think almonds, fresh fruit, trail mix, and peanut butter. They are fast and can be eaten on the run.
5. Get Social
No, I don’t mean get more social media. What I am talking about is socializing.
First, turn off the computer and take a social media break. Then, do some good ole fashioned socializing.
So what exactly does that mean? Simply stated, make time for your friends and family.
Sometimes more human contact is the last thing you may want after a hard day. But spending time with friends and family can help you get centered.
A word of advice: Don’t forget that your family is just as important as your job. In fact, family should always come first!
I don’t recall many of my hospice patients wanting to spend less time with their family. Over the years, I have learned to cherish the time that I get to spend with my family. You should too.
6. Remember why you became a nurse in the first place
When nursing gets tough, nurses quit. According to the National Healthcare Retention & RN Staffing Report, the national hospital turnover rate was 17.8% and shows no signs of dropping.
When it gets tough, I suggest that you take some time to remember why you became a nurse in the first place.
This is not a glamorous job. However, you work in the most trusted profession. You are a superhero!
7. Get some sleep
If you’re like me then this seems more like a luxury than a necessity. However, you do need to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Personally, I used to have a hard time winding down until I started using my Fitbit to track my sleep. First Fitbit is great because you can set a reminder alert when it is time to start winding down.
Secondly, you can see how well you sleep each night and it gives you a sleep quality score. For instance, my sleep quality score is now around 87% each night.
8. Utilize your EAP benefit
Most organizations offer an Employee Assistance Program(EAP) free of charge.
This may sound intimidating if you are not familiar with how it works. However, keep in mind that EAP is completely voluntary and confidential.
All it takes a one phone call.
The program offers services such as short-term counseling and referrals to employees who have personal or work-related, concerns. Furthermore, you can receive a free and confidential assessment, short-term counseling, referrals, and other follow-up services.
To initiate services, you can either reach out to Human Resources or simply check out your employer’s website for instructions on how to contact EAP.
9. Set limits and professional boundaries
Well, this one might be a little hard. Especially when you are providing care in someone’s home.
Let’s face it, you get to know their family, the dog, and everything in between. So you might be wondering how do you set good boundaries?
To begin with, don’t make promises you can’t keep.
For instance, don’t promise that you will be there when the patient dies. In hospice, the whole team is capable of taking care of the patient.
Over the years, I have found that this is one of the mistakes hospice nurses make when caring for dying patients.
Ask yourself- “Would I do this for every patient?” If the answer is no, then you might be crossing professional boundaries.
10. Pamper Yourself– Self-Care is essential!
There are many ways that you can do this. Remember, self-care is personal so do what works for you. The key is to keep it simple.
For starters, stop long enough to do something relaxing. For example, try drinking your favorite tea in your favorite mug. Perhaps a warm bath is your thing.
No matter what, do you Boo!
20 Self-Care Ideas
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or complex. In fact, you can do most self-care activities on the cheap.
Simply pick one that appeals to you and go for it. I would love to hear from you about what works for you. If there are things that should be on the list please feel free to share.
- Exercise
- Listen to your favorite song
- Eat a healthy diet
- Sleep
- Try music therapy
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Try a mindfulness app
- Yoga
- Read a book
- Detox from Social Media
- Pamper yourself
- Spend time with friends
- Have a glass of tea
- Take a warm shower or bath
- Cook dinner for a friend
- Go for a walk
- Clean your closet (I like the KonMari method)
- Play a board game
- Relax and do what you love!
Conclusion
Finally, if you made it to the end of this article, then you should pat yourself on the back. You have the tools that you need to take better care of yourself and those you love. Just remember that at some point your stress will be high and it will try to get the best of you. Just don’t forget that you are a nurse and you can do this! If you want keep up to date with the latest from Hospice Nurse Hero, simply sign up for e-mail updates using the form below.
Sign up for e-mail updates and get the latest forms and courses from Hospice Nurse Hero.